Day 26- Why I'm watching Felicity and having weird dreams

 During the excitement of orientation,  I forgot how old I am until some young girl on a panel said "Take your time. There's no need to push yourself into a full time course load, or to decide how exactly you're going to use this degree. You have PLENTY of time for that later!"

No, Little Girl Child, I most certainly do NOT have plenty of time for that! I should've done all that time taking if I had gone to college when THIS book was printed

 I did do THIS kind of school in a timely manner and at an appropriate age. And yes, we had to wear caps, but ours were much uglier than these. Hard to believe, eh?

 When looking at college catalogues when I SHOULD have gotten my BA, the pictures of students looked like this, and this is how I pictured myself on the green campuses of my future

 I did do some of that when I went to nursing school and then for more than 4 years getting my BA, which I started in 19-Never-Mind and finished in 19-None-Of-Your-Business, but really it looks more like THIS these days

                              Oh, as IF I could get up gracefully from that position these days!

                                   At least I won't be doing my homework like THIS anymore

So here's the thing. I'm starting college again, and was "accidentally" drawn to watching Felicity reruns the very next day, much to my surprise and embarrassment. But those very first shows were all about the uncertainty and confusion of starting on the Great American Education Adventure and I think I feel a lot like that character did when she first got to college. My hair even curls by itself now, like it didn't so many years ago. But my mind, I fondly hope, has a lot more snap to it than her fuzzy little head after all these years of living on this planet.

I had a nightmare the night after orientation where I was tryin to rescuscitate a baby that I had forgotten was even there. It was almost too late, and I wasn't as sure of what I was doing. At work, doing infant resuscitation is second nature to me, and I never doubt myself while it's going on, but in this dream I was just not sure what the next step was. Even when the dream was over, or actually, when I woke up before it was over, the outcome was unclear. HAD I saved that baby? She would breathe now and then, but wasn't very vigorous in her movements and I wasn't sure if I had stopped too soon or it was just too late to save her.

I know that baby is ME. My new beginning. Is it too late? Will it be just an almost-save that leaves me only half prepared for something there's not much time to get right? I have NO idea. I spend a lot of time on my balcony watching the river and the moon, and this picture does look like one of my activities.

          Deep thought whilst staring moodily off into space and looking over a city.

However, in my saner moments, I know I'll be just fine because my purpose in going to college is a career related one, and not Felicity's